The people.

For some people, talking in front of an audience comes naturally for them. I'm not one of those people.
I'm one of those people that have to actually take a few minutes to gather all my courage and pour it in one single presentation. I'm the type that repeats a few times the things I want to say in my head before saying them out loud. I plan these things. Because if I don't, I'll panic.

I admit I do get jealous of those people that can simply grab a mic and talk. At first, it was admiration. Later on, it becomes envy and I feel so pathetic. I feel like I'm not good enough.

What can I do to get rid of these feelings?

Practice.

It's not as easy as it sounds but there's no short-cut in achieving something.
Actually, the one thing I'm afraid of is the audience. I don't know if I can handle what 'the people' might say. That's why it's so hard to even try sometimes.
But really, who am I trying to impress? The people or the One?
Yang penting bukanlah level kita di mata manusia tapi level kita di mata Allah kan?

Words hurt.

I can forgive you.
I can effortlessly pretend nothing happened.
I can easily smile and accept your flaws.
I can always keep it a secret from everyone we know.
I can help you cover your guilt.
I can occupy my thoughts with all the good things you've done.
I can try to see beyond your mistakes.
I can be who you want me to be when I'm with you.

But how can I possibly forget that painful feeling when I found out that you, someone important to me, hurt another important person of mine?
Isn't she important to you too?
Do you seriously think that words can be forgotten so easily?
Forgiven, maybe.
But forgotten?
It'll take another 1000 years of good deeds to pull that one off.

Words hurt.

So please... think twice before you say anything. Especially when you're angry or in a bad mood.

Berkata baik atau diam... right?
=)