Tak sangka aku dah hidup selama 16 tahun dan 7 bulan. Rasa macam budak-budak lagi. Rasa macam tak cukup matang. Rasa macam tak bersedia nak keluar sekolah. Rasa macam masih tak cukup yakin dan tak cukup pengamalan untuk berhadapan dengan society yang... agak menakutkan dan sangat mencabar.
Setiap hari umurku semaking meningkat, aku lihat semua perubahan2 yang berlaku di sekelilingku... benda2 kecik macam brand handphone yang mak ayah aku pakai sampailah benda2 besar macam perubahan kawan2 aku yang dah lama tak jumpa or something like that.
We grow older, friends change, we see the things we see everyday differently, we think differently, our interests change and so on and so forth. Honestly, I'm at my wits end in figuring out what my future is going to be like. I don't know what I want. Of course, I want to be a good person. I want to chase Jannah. I want to marry a good person and be a good wife and mom. I want to continue giving and bringing good to this world. But once I'm out of school... I'm not sure I can do it alone. I know I have my friends with me, but there some things in this world that we just gotta figure it out ourselves. We may need others' help (and I have awesome friends and family that are happy to help me out) but in the end...it's our decision.
It's our life. We, ourselves, choose where its heading.
Right?
Ya Allah, please help me make the right decisions.
Ameen.
