I found out something about Asyraf that I felt stupid for not knowing sooner. He vapes. I literally cried yesterday because of the sheer disappointment and sadness I felt. Maybe to some people, it's not a big deal, but to me, it is a very big deal. If I had known sooner I would probably hesitate to even go on with this relationship but at this point, I don't think it's fair for me to back out just because of this. I tried to be rational. Tried to see it from his perspective. And I'm grateful that I can be open with him and tell him how I really feel. That I'm sad and disappointed and I don't like it and I want him to stop right this second. And he immediately promised me he would.
Now, I'm a rational person. Of course I would be skeptical. Is it really that easy to quit? But I have no other choice than to trust him. Technically he didn't lie to me. He just wasn't direct about it. Because we did talk about me not liking people who smokes before this. And dia memang tak merokok. I just didn't think there would be people who would think smoking and vaping are too different things. Also, he said he's a social vaper. Means he only vapes when his friends vapes. I don't know what to say. I can only hope and pray he really stops, at all costs. Like dang, is this what they meant by 'ujian masa tunang'? Lol. Seems like I feel like I can still tolerate this. I guess the only two things that will be complete deal breakers are probably if he is either abusive (in any way, shape of form) or cheating on me, which I don't think he will and I trust that he won't. At least I really really hope not.
