I dont
believe that people can truly understand each other. One might say that perhaps
we can get to know someone and understand them better through time and I agree
but i still dont believe that people can truly one hundred percent understand
another human being.
Even at this point in my life I cant say that I have ever truly understood anyone i've ever met, including my parents who I have known all my life.
I recently fought with a friend who I have known for 12 years but have been close friends with for almost 5 years. The circumstances in which made me fight with her is a long story. I'll write about it in a seperate post (in malay probably coz I am just so frustrated about the whole thing and lagi best marah2 dalam BM kot lol)
We fought about how I was being a heartless human being and how I should care more about others and take responsibility for my actions. She, by nature, is a very trusting person and has a gigantic sense of responsibility. Ok I said I'm going to write about it in a separate post but basically what happened was we got into a minor accident with a motorbike. She was in the car with me while I was driving.
So after we called the ambulance and the guy was brought to the hospital, we went to the hospital too to return his helmet and key which we picked up at the scene. We saw the guy and he said he was waiting for his xtray. My friend asked him what we should do with his stuff and he said to keep it first, which I think is dumb because why would we want to hold onto a stranger's personal belongings. But my friend was being all responsible and insist we hold on to it to show that we care and will take responsibility. That triggered me because what??? You're saying I'm not being responsible just because I REFUSE to hold to SOME GUY I DONT EVEN KNOW punya kunci motor and helmet?? Dah visit dia kat hospital bawak kunci ngan helmet and cari parking sampai setengah jam kat hospital tu tak cukup responsible ke??
Ok sorry that's besides the point.
Anyway because of us holding onto his stuff, something else happened later which I will write in a separate post i promiseeee
What I actually wanted to say was that I've never fought with her like this before and it kind of made me question how much I knew her and how much she knew me.
Tapi sebenarnya dah lama fikir pasal this whole humans cant understand each other semua ni. I think that's partly why I have trust issues and why I like to be by myself. Because I always have a hard time figuring out what other people think and I just dont understand peoplee. But the most concerning thing is how I dont understand myself. And I spend 24 hours a day with myself! How can someone else say they understand me when I dont understand myself? And how do I understand others when I dont understand myself because you know I spend 24 hours with myself and barely any time with others. dang its all so complicated and PROBABLY unnecessary to think about.
but but BUT! I have realized something important after the whole fiasco with that motorbike guy which is it's PERFECTLY OKAY to not truly understand another person. My parents was also involved a lot in this incident because I called my dad and asked for help. And they did a lot for me and my friend to handle the whole case. Which made me realize that love and trust doesn't come from completely understanding someone. Because you won't ever completely understand someone anyway. Humans change all the time. And we do a lot of shit to the ones we love ALL THE TIMEE. But I think what makes human relationships beautiful is how despite ALL OF OUR FLAWS AND how DAMAGED we are and despite not understanding each other, we still find reasons to trust, love and stay by someone's side.
So despite my friend being such a pain in the neck( dont worry, I'm most likely a pain to her too), I still love her and wouldn't want to lose her as a friend (Hope she does too). And despite me being such a troublesome kid to my parents and wasting a lot of their money, I know they will always continue to worry for me and won't ever turn their backs on me.
