The Most Forgiving.

I am so scared for the day I have to stand before my Master

A day when no excuse can be given 

A day when all truth will be revealed

A day when I am accountable for all my actions

This is the day of justice

of punishment

of forgiveness

and this is the day 

of His Mercy

I am convinced that if we sincerely seek for Allah's Forgiveness 

He will forgive us

But I still feel like I don't have any guts to own up to my own faults on that Day. 

Oh Allah, forgive me. 

Stay strong.

I feel like my heart has gotten hard and cold.

Why is it so hard for me to shed tears for you, ya Allah?

I want to love You.

I want to fear You and only You.

Perhaps, my heart is tainted.

If it was truly full of love for you, ya Allah,

surely there would be no room for fear and despair.

I feel like I'm faking it.

Like I'm just forcing myself. 

It's just so hard.

So hard to be true to myself.

It may not be hard for you,

but it is for me.

But behind this 'fake' me,

I want to believe 

that there's a real me 

who wants to go back

and repent.

I want to work hard.

I want His love and mercy.

I want to believe

that I'll always have a second chance.

I don't want to be naive,

but believing that is one of the main things

that keeps me going.

There is no such thing
as a bed full of roses
because even roses
have thorns.
Even so,
I keep going because
I believe in Allah's promise.

Islam will win.

Even if it's not much,

I want to be a part 

of the people

who brings victory to Islam.

Ya Allah,

I know it'll be hard.. but help me stay strong.

Help my family and friends stay strong.

Stay strong on this road.

On this road...

to You.